Arnold Schwarzenegger...$65,000.00 down payment on Maid's tony digs! Skirt chaser payola!

At the crack-of-dawn this morning, news wires started reporting that Arnold Schwarzenegger made a $65,000.00 down payment on the luxury home currently inhabited by his love-child's mother known to her close friends as "Pat".

According to news reports, an initial $60,000.00 was paid upfront on the home valued at $268,000.00.

Just a few months ago, the former Governor coughed up an additional $5,000.00 towards the purchase of the four bedroom home situated in a residential enclave just outside of Los Angeles.

Curiously, one news outlet dredged up an old Television clip of the former bodybuilder, when he appeared in his prime as a contestant on The Dating Game.

One of his quips to the bachelorette has clearly come back to haunt him.

For example, at one point during the course of the show, Schwarzenegger innocently asked a contestant on the other side of the screen:

"What does this expression - Hanky-Panky - mean?"

It means that when you get caught with your dick in the wringer, 'ya pay up, Arnold!

News at 11!

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Arnold Schwarzenegger...maid's great tats titillated! Pat's entry-level position!

After the initial shock of the revelation that the former Governor fathered a child with his ex-maid at his mansion in Brentwood, the jokes started flying fast-and-furious on the late-night talk-show circuit, tabloid gossip shows like TMZ, and in the gossip rags at the check-out stand at the supermarket.

"Patty was blssed with great "tats" so Arnold must have had a lot of fun playing with those," one irreverent news outlet joked.

Allegedly, the woman in the center of the firestorm was paid $1200 a week to cook, clean, do laundry, and carry out a hand-ful of chores.

Hmmmmm!

What kind of chores?

Reports are filtering out that the woman in question  - Mildred Patricia Baena - had her sights set on the terminator who was easy prey given Schwarzenegger's weakness for women with big knockers and tight attractive asses.

And, you thought all body-builders were gay, eh?

Not!

Allegedly, the macho chauvinist did not learn that the child was his own, until he was a toddler.

After-the-fact, when the information was first revealed to a surprised Arnold, he apparently did the honorable thing and began to pay for the upkeep of the child.

And then some, apparently.

According to the latest news reports, the child's mother is living in the lap of luxury outside of Los Angeles, in an upscale home which boasts several bedrooms and a swimming pool..

One of the many perks of successfully snagging a big-name celebrity!

I guess you could say that "Pat's" job at the Brentwood home was an entry-level position.

Missionary or doggie-style?

Although photographs of the teen born out of wedlock have not been published to protect the privacy of the young man (for once the media has acted tastefully in the wake of a scandal) insiders say that the love child bears a striking resemblance to the Austrian film star.

No word on whether Arnold's out-of-wedlock son also speaks with a heavy European accent.

Now, that would have been a dead give-a-way, alright!

http://www.thetattler.biz






Spoils of out-of-wedlock Motherhood!

Hollywood Inn Express...Motel twist on room service! Sex on demand!

More than free breakfast at Hollywood Inn Express!






After a strenuous few all-nighters reporting on the Royal Wedding, and scrambled for two days to stay on top of the breaking news about the Osama bin Laden stealth mission that resulted in the terrorist's death (?), I was finally too popped to participate.

So, I plopped down on the comfy king size bed at my Motel, and slipped off into dreamland.

Suddenly, as I lay deep in slumber, a disturbance shook me from my peaceful state..

As I started to reach waking consciousness, I glanced in the direction of the door, and was startled to spy a man standing there!

As I quickly collected my thoughts in a concerted effort to free a fog hanging over my head, the unidentified male proceeded to strike up a conversation.

"Did you want fresh towels?"

OMG!

The male maid assigned to my Motel room just breezed in without knocking first.

I nodded in the affirmative as I proceeded to pull myself together

Within minutes, the Motel employee was back quizzing me once again.

"Are you single?"

Say what?

Not to be rude, I noted that I was.

But, it struck me a second later that I should not be having this bizarre dialogue with a total stranger hired to service the room, not me!

Before I could get my wits about me, the Latino male hit me with another question.

"Why?"

I quickly noted that I hadn't met the right person, then proceeded to wave him off.

"Thank you for the towels," I responded in a stem dismissive voice.

In all the years I have been a guest at Hotels, I've never experienced this kind of inappropriate intrusive conduct by a maid or any other employee.

I suppose it's to be expected at a Motel where graphic pornos are broadcast on the TV 24.7.

The fact that there wasn't any Gideon's Bible in the drawer  of the night desk should have tipped me off, too.

In the future, I guess I'll have to place the chain over the Motel room door before I take a nap, or at least double-latch it from inside to prevent unwanted advances from male (or female) maids.

I suppose if I post a review on Orbitz - with a detailed account of the incident - there will be a non-stop avalanche of bookings at the Motel

Don't forget your rubbers!

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Coffee, tea, or me at Hollywood Inn!

Downton Abbey...period drama a gem! Lord's gay dalliance titillating!

With a lot of pomp and circumstance "Downton Abbey" premiered tonight on PBS on U.S. shores.

The 4-episode period piece - starring Maggie Smith, Hugh Bonneville, and Elizabeth McGovern - scored big when it was first broadcast in the U.K. last year.

In fact, the entertaining upstairs/downstairs tale of the class struggle snagged the highest ratings since the classic hit - "Brideshead Revisited" - first stirred up the imagination of fans of the genre a scant few moons ago.

The fussy sophisticated melodrama - written by insightful Julian Fellowes - is trussed up with all the trappings of a surefire winner - a cast of intriguing (but lovable) characters, surprise plot twists, and a titillating scandal or two lurking in the wings waiting to topple the once-glorious Empire.

I expect that when the word gets "out" about one Lord and his strictly taboo dalliance with a handsome studly footman - that ratings for the "night-time" soaper - will soar in gay ghettos around the country.

Catty Queens aside, mainstream America may have a bit of a struggle keeping up with the fast pace, witty patter, and sight gags, though.

Even so, the mini-series - a gem, really - is bound to be a hit on this side of the pond because the well-produced offering appeals on a multitude of different levels

Panoramic views of the picturesque English countryside, lush captivating sets, and exquisitely-tailored costumes - are worth taking a gander at - for starters.

But, in the final analysis, it is Fellowe's captivating glimpse into a bygone era (and its staunch - but fascinating - stuffy traditions) that stirs up a host of emotions - and ultimately - manages to charm and mesmerize.

4 stars!

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